Starting college is exciting, and most students look forward to all the new experiences and independence campus life will bring. But after the initial excitement, many are surprised by how quickly feelings of homesickness can set in.
According to Jeffrey Ng, Psy.D., that complex knot of sadness, longing, and feeling out of place is normal, especially when you’re away from home for the first time—but it can catch students off guard.
“Homesickness can coexist with being excited to start a new chapter,” said Ng, director of Counseling and Psychological Services at Fordham. “We often hear students say, ‘I was so excited to come to school and I’m still excited, but I also miss my family or my friends from home.’ All of these feelings can exist together.”
Dealing with homesickness can be challenging, but there are a few things you can do to support yourself through the transition. Here are Ng’s top tips for finding your footing:
1. You’re Not Alone
First, you should know that homesickness is common for college students, even if it’s not often discussed. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you—it’s simply part of the human condition, Ng said.
“As human beings, we are relational by design. We naturally establish attachments and connections to the people around us,” which can be difficult to leave behind, Ng said.
Recognizing that homesickness is normal, and that the other students around you are likely feeling it too, can go a long way toward helping you manage those feelings when they arise, he said.
2. Stay Connected to Home
Joining a new community doesn’t mean losing touch with your old one. In fact, keeping strong ties to family, friends, and familiar routines can make the adjustment to campus life feel easier. That might look like scheduling regular calls with family, check-ins with friends, or decorating your room with comforting items that remind you of home.
“Things like photos, a favorite pillow, or a musical instrument can help your space feel more familiar,” Ng said.
3. Build a Home Where You Are
The path to reducing homesickness is ultimately to create a sense of belonging where you are now, Ng said. It’s a gradual process, and there’s no set timeline for when you “should” stop feeling homesick, but bit by bit, you can begin to feel more at home at college.
So what does that look like? It means learning your way around campus and discovering your favorite spots in the neighborhood. It also means getting into healthy routines and finding events and clubs that interest you.
Most of all, it means cultivating strong connections with other people—a process that takes time, but starts with small steps. And who knows, some of those connections may just blossom into friendships that last a lifetime.
4. Start Small
If you’re feeling down, the idea of “putting yourself out there” might feel overwhelming. Ng suggested lowering the bar. Even reaching out in small ways can help you begin to feel more connected.
“It doesn’t have to be an enormous leap,” Ng said. “You could just go to a club meeting to observe and listen.”
5. Take Care of Yourself
Finally, don’t forget the basics, Ng said. Sleep, nutrition, exercise, and connecting with others can all help buffer the stress of adjusting to a new place. Most colleges offer mental health services, like those available at Fordham’s counseling center. If you think you could benefit, reach out for an appointment.
Ng also emphasized the role of self-compassion:
“You don’t have to have this all figured out right away,” Ng said. “Give yourself the same generosity, grace, and kindness that you’d extend to the people you love.”
